I have been asked, "What do the authorities and
others think of you and of what you are propagating?"
This is a valid question and my answer is simple. I cannot tell for sure what
everybody thinks of me because I do not hear from every single one of them. I maintain
that I seek to build and not to destroy. I seek to prevent divorces and broken marriages
that are destroying us. I think I have answers to these, and I want to contribute them to
the Church and the world wherein I have been raised and benefiting from. I hope that this
is how others will see and think of me. That simple.
What does the authority say?
I cannot be presumptuous. But after so many years in ministry and more than 6 years
of intensive research and study on this subject, with so much scriptural substantiation on
this website and with much more that are going to be posted, I want to announce my finding
- that it is not morally wrong neither scripturally nor biblically wrong to be polygamous
and I have to concur with Mr Lee Kuan Yew, the Senior Minister of Singapore that polygamy
(polygyny) is a viable option to dynamic nation-building and the way to solve many social
problems. After years in pastoral counseling, I also feel compelled to agree with Mr Goh
Chok Tong, Prime Minister of Singapore when he said that Singaporean men are generally
"Kia Bor" which means "fear wife" for I see (as also portrayed in
several TV commercials) that many are generally too wife-beholden than called for. From my
experience, such a syndrome will in the long run produce "good-for-nothing"
husbands and dominating "tigresses of the home", which simply means more marital
failures. I also want to state that TRUE CHRISTIANITY IS NOT WESTERN CULTURE and need not
and should no longer stay under the dominion of it, especially if Singapore is to find an
identifiable identity of her own. As a minister of the Gospel and a responsible citizen, I
must also air my views and I am glad that my religious conviction is in line with the
sentiment that the Leadership of this country is inclined to. Thus in answering this
question, this much is my knowledge of the authority in this issue.
What do others think?
I can't be totally sure either. However, I do know that in some way I have been
grossly misquoted behind my back by a few local ministers who would not come directly to
me with the Scriptures. I don't know why and this is the sad part. As concerning direct
feedback, which is largely from the West, the `for far outnumbered the
`against, and many `fors are from spiritual men and women who have gone
through much in life, including credible and experienced ministers. There are also some
who conceded after some dialogue while others seem to know what I am talking about and are
appreciative that they do indeed find some good answers here.
Here is my Personal Statement
Let me categorically state that I am neither promoting and liberalizing indulgence
in extra-marital affairs nor advocating polyamory. This I know I will be accused of. But
people are already what they are. Despite all laws against bigamy, men and women whether
with legitimate reasons or not, expedient or not, abusive or not, are continually getting
involved with one another. This is rampant in every single society. And as long as such
extra-marital affairs are not legally registered, they are not in any way a crime in most
modern societies. But these, also usually necessitate divorces, resulting in many broken
marriages, devastated homes, abandoned children and finally a weakening and decaying
society.
We have no choice. We are now pressed against the wall to review our religious and
moral values. In the face of the complexities and demands of life, we are forced to admit
that we have come to the dead end of the road and exhausted our resources concerning such
issues. We have to admit that we cannot afford to be pretentious any more, to think that
our religious and moral systems are providing the answers, but to accept the fact that we
are no more able than just to pick up the shattered pieces after marital disasters. These
disasters, we know are of very high cost to the economy and very stressful and harmful to
the society. What seemed to work yesterday is not working anymore today.
The question is how ready are we to face such pressing issues, and be courageous enough
to tear apart our fundamentals, to re-evaluate our understanding on holiness and the
values of our moral system and see where we are really missing out rather than to
pretentiously maintain that we have answers that evil men reject. Its always easier
to blame the ignorant and the problems than to admit professional inadequacy.
Consider these scenarios. 2 people, a married man and a married woman happen to fall in
love one more time and start a series of extra-marital affairs. The easiest and neatest
way to continue this new and exciting ride without further objections or problems is to
divorce and remarry. Today, this can be done most professionally and efficiently without
much difficulties. But the results? 2 sets of abandoned families and one new family that
is no less vulnerable than the previous ones. Yet our system does not just sanction them,
but provides a way and aids them in doing so, as long as the means is sufficient to
satisfy the legal requirements. How does the community view them? Nothing more than that
each acting on their private rights. Another 2 people, a married man and a single woman
inadvertently get involved. The man is ready to be a responsible husband and father to
all, yet he and his 2 families are despised by those around him and his second family is
deprived of certain privileges of rightful citizens. Worst still, if he is not so careful
as to be so responsible as to honor his second relationship with a legal declaration or
ceremony, he may be convicted as a criminal and go behind bars, while those of the first
scenario go scot-free and are protected by the law to divorce again. So under pressure, he
(of the second case) buckles and chooses only 1 family. The result? 1 more broken family
and 1 new family with every equal chance of another breakup. As never before, families are
being torn up in such manner and the number of abandoned children is ever increasing at an
alarming rate. Yet everyone chooses to remain silent. Strange, isnt it? Perhaps not,
for anyone who dares speak on this loud enough may just end up being ostracized and
crucified too.
It is insufficient for holy men to maintain that shipwrecks happen but only to those
who are lacking of self-control, lawless, carnal and sinful. The fact is that this can
happen to just anybody, even to the very good and very faithful people, at any time, in
any place, in any social strata of the society. This fact is undeniably true. Its
against everybodys desire but its getting more and more rampant, like
uncontainable fire that endlessly devours, licking up anybody along its path. Nobody
believes it will ever happen to them until one day, it suddenly happens - to them. Can
this be avoided? I believe to a large extent, yes.
In my opinion, which I believe is the Creators opinion, that the only right way
to navigate a ship is not to adopt 1 best method for all voyages, but to know all viable
options and to employ the most appropriate one that will only work well under the
different circumstances of each different life journey. Each of us passes through this
life only once, and marriage is more complicated than navigating a ship. We cannot afford
to miss. No wonder, there are so many shipwrecks in the stormy seas of marriages.
I now make emphatically clear what I am propagating in this section on Polygamy. I do
not put polygamy above monogamy or celibacy. I speak much on it because it is most
misunderstood and persecuted. I have 2 main underlying thoughts in all my writings. To
interpret them otherwise would be misquoting me. It would be unkind and may even be
malicious and insinuating.
- I seek to tell the Church and the world that issues on divorce many times are grossly
mishandled. Many a times, marital problems are unscripturally dealt with and divorces are
wrongly sanctioned and many a times really unnecessary. God is not for divorces and His
Word provides ways to avert them. They concern marital relationships and family values but
these are either seldom understood or properly expounded at the pulpit, coupled with the
fear that what may be true is totally unacceptable to the community we live in. Thus, for
that, we pay. The Church is no longer capable of setting moral standards and providing
guidance and answers to the society. But the truth is, even though divorces may not be
eliminated, they can be greatly reduced.
- I seek to tell the Church and the world that the unchanging God, even to this day does
sanction, accept, vindicate and bless a form of polygamy (polygyny) when it is biblically
and responsibly founded on the guidelines of His Word. God does provide principles and
teachings for all parties concerned, not just to be responsible and fair to one another,
but also to bring them into victory, joy and fulfillment. The truth is that the Word does
have the answer but is totally overlooked and denied, even by great theologians and
spiritual giants. Thus for this we again pay, with divorces, broken families and a
decaying society.
The basis of my proposition is the Scriptures and my experiences in them as a minister.
I may sound too bold and even arrogant. Perhaps, but it is my sincere belief that this
site really has answers, to a certain extent and is receiving more and more attention on
the Web, of individuals and institutions. I hope you, the reader will read deeper and
think deeper into the materials written herein. Like I said, I do receive feedback from
those who have gone through much in life, saying that they indeed do find some good
answers here. My purpose is not to upset any system, religious or legal. But to let the
individuals choose and experience the goodness of the truth for themselves. After they
have experienced what is good and right, they will know how to adjust and align or change
what is necessary for the community and for themselves.
Finally, as a minister of the Gospel and a citizen of a progressive nation, I am
entitled to air a view which is proven scriptural, at the same time constructive for the
society by saving marriages and divorces. This is my personal statement.
Click here for some feedback and Lee Kuan Yew On Polygamy for Nation Building.
Thank you,
Israel CS Lim
Copyright © Israel CS Lim, April, May 1999