PERSONAL (1) A PERSONAL STATEMENT ON POLYGAMY

I have been asked, "What do the authorities and others think of you and of what you are propagating?"

This is a valid question and my answer is simple. I cannot tell for sure what everybody thinks of me because I do not hear from every single one. I maintain that I seek to build and not to destroy. I seek to prevent divorces and broken marriages that are destroying us. I think I have answers to these, and I want to contribute them to whoever that will be opened enough to explore. I hope that this is how others will see and think of me.

What does the authority say?
After so many years in ministry and intensive research and study on this subject, with so much scriptural substantiation, I want to speak what is actually in the Scriptures of Judaism and Christianity, to get deeper into of the lives of the biblical heroes whom we admire and to apply the truths as revealed into our lives. That’s what the Scriptures are for. This amount of freedom of expression is what I believe I am entitled to. In the practical sense, how one applies are one’s own responsibilities. I am not expressing the laws of any land nor am I challenging any.

Mr Lee Kuan Yew, the Senior Minister of Singapore once spoke that polygamy (polygyny) is a viable option to dynamic nation-building and the way to solve many social problems. I concur with what he said.

Mr Goh Chok Tong, then Prime Minister of Singapore once said that Singaporean men are generally "Kia Bor" which means "fear wife". Is he referring to a need for a more Patriarchal society, which our roots were founded?

I am glad that my conviction is somewhat in line with the sentiment some dynamic nation builders of this modern world.

I also want to state that true Christianity is not western culture and need not and should no longer stay under the dominion of it, especially if one is to find an identifiable identity for his own culture.

Thus in answering this question, this much is my knowledge of the authority in this issue.  

What do others think?
I can't be totally sure either. However, I do know that in some way I have been grossly misquoted behind my back by a few local ministers who said they would but never did come directly to me with the Scriptures. I don't know why and this is the sad part.

As concerning direct feedback, which is largely from the West, the `for’ far outnumbered the `against’, and many `for’s are from spiritual men and women who have gone through much in life, including credible and experienced ministers. There are also some who conceded after some dialogue while others are appreciative that they do indeed find some good answers here, which is why I am still keeping this website. There are many who secretly agree but would not acknowledge openly, instead told me to be more discreet to preempt vicious attackers.  

Here is my Personal Statement
Let me categorically state that I am neither promoting and liberalizing indulgence in extra-marital affairs nor advocating polyamory. This I know I will be accused of. People are already what they are. Despite all laws against bigamy, men and women whether with legitimate reasons or not, expedient or not, abusive or not, are continually getting involved with one another beyond the boundaries of superficial decency. This is rampant in every single society. And as long as such extra-marital affairs are not legally registered, they are not in any way a crime in most modern societies. But these, also usually necessitate divorces, resulting in many broken marriages, devastated homes, abandoned children and finally a weakening and decaying society.

We have no choice. We are now pressed against the wall to review our religious and moral values. In the face of the complexities and demands of life, we are forced to admit that we have come to the dead end of the road and exhausted our resources concerning such issues. We have to admit that we cannot afford to be pretentious any more, to think that our religious and moral systems are providing the answers, but to accept the fact that we are no more able than just to pick up the shattered pieces after marital disasters. These disasters, we know are of very high cost to the economy and very stressful and harmful to the society. What seemed to work yesterday is not working anymore today. Judiciary and religious establishments are bending to accommodate what they once condemned as sins and crimes.

The question is how ready are we to face such pressing issues, and be courageous enough to tear apart our fundamentals, to re-evaluate our understanding on holiness and the values of our moral system and see where we are really missing out rather than to pretentiously maintain that we have answers that evil men reject. It’s always easier to blame the ignorant and the problems than to admit inadequacy.

Consider these scenarios. 2 people, a married man and a married woman happen to fall in love one more time and start a series of extra-marital affairs. The easiest and neatest way to continue this new and exciting ride without further objections or problems is to divorce and remarry. Today, this can be done most professionally and efficiently without much difficulties. But the results? 2 sets of abandoned families and one new family that is no less vulnerable than the previous ones. Yet our system does not just sanction them, but provides a way and aids them in doing so, as long as the means is sufficient to satisfy the legal requirements. How does the community view them? Nothing more than that each acting on their private rights. Another 2 people, a married man and a single woman inadvertently get involved. The man is ready to be a responsible husband and father to all, yet he and his 2 families are despised by those around him and his second family is deprived of certain privileges of rightful citizens. Worst still, if he is not so careful as to be so responsible as to honor his second relationship with a legal declaration or ceremony, he may be convicted as a criminal and go behind bars, while those of the first scenario go scot-free and are protected by the law to divorce again. So under pressure, he buckles and chooses only 1 family. The result? The forsaken becomes people ready to make a broken society. As never before, families are being torn up in such manner and the number of abandoned children is ever increasing at an alarming rate.

It is insufficient for holy men to maintain that shipwrecks happen but only to those who are lacking of self-control, lawless, carnal and sinful. The fact is that this can happen to just anybody, even to the very good and very faithful people, at any time, in any place, in any social strata of the society. This fact is undeniably true. It’s against everybody’s desire but it’s getting more and more rampant, like uncontainable fire that endlessly devours, licking up anybody along its path. Nobody believes it will ever happen to them until one day, it suddenly happens - to them. Can this be avoided? I believe to a large extent, yes.

Enough spoken, and if you do not know, I have not updated this site for years as I have long retired from ministry and from the market place. After all these years, I conclude that one do not need to fight for Truth. Truth carries us and will by Himself prevail. All things under the sun come and go, but Truths remains forever. Amen

This article updated: June 2010

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