POLYGAMY - (13) MAN MORE THAN 1 WIFE, WOMAN MORE THAN 1 HUSBAND?

POLYGAMY - OBJECTIONS, Q & A (13)

MAN MORE THAN 1 WIFE,
WOMAN MORE THAN 1 HUSBAND?

If a man can have more than 1 wife, why can’t a woman have more than 1 husband?

If one species can have something more why not the other? In a world pressing for equality as in modern societies like ours, this seems a difficult question to tackle. This is somewhat a sensitive issue and I must be careful to address it fairly. I have been asked this question several times, and the answer below is the result of a discussion with people that I ministered to.

First and foremost, this question is not based on the fact that equality means the 2 species having the same functionality and makeup in all aspects, which we know is definitely not the case. If it is, this earth would be filled with 2 different contending species fiercely at war for dominion. Thankfully, this is not the case and must never be. So we accept that men and women are created different physically, emotionally and mentally, and they are different functionally and behaviorally too. But we must also accept one more fact that it is not for the purpose of rivalry, but for the purpose of being complementary that they are created differently. In this respect, if one would accept that man and woman are created differently but fairly, to be compatible and complementary to one another then there will be a common premise to address this question, otherwise there would be no end but more confusion to the debate.

FUNCTIONAL DIFFERENCE IN REPLENISHING THE EARTH
On the whole, man is given muscles to plow the hard ground and deal with external aggression like fighting battles while woman is given the womb to bear and raise children and manage internal affairs of the household. We do not expect to see man doing manual labour with a big tummy nor to let women soldiers come home with disfigured bodies in body bags. Of course there are some overlapping functions, abilities and skills as severally given by God, and there will be some exceptions. But on the whole, according to the general male and female makeups and functions, they multiply, replenish the earth and fulfill the plan of God. This functional difference does have an effect on polygamy options. The man can disseminate his seed and go to work, while the woman carries and nurses the baby. A fruitful woman can only produce 1 child per year. But if he has a few women, more children can be produced at the same time. Thus 1 man with a few women can produce few children at one time. But a woman with few husbands can only produce 1 child at any given time. I am not being calculative, but polyandry (1 woman, more husbands) just won’t make good sense in fulfilling God’s plan to replenish the earth. If it is widely practised, as all truths ought to be, it may greatly reduce the world population.


RATIO FACTOR
Also at this moment, there are more women than men on earth and in almost every nation, which means that polygyny (1 man more wives) would make good sense while polyandry (1 woman, more husbands) would further reduce the number of available men and worsen the man-woman ratio. Thus, statistics also tells us that God’s design is polygyny and not polyandry.


WHO IS THE FATHER?
Moreover, in the case of polygyny (1 man more wives), the father and mother of the child are clearly identifiable, for there is only 1 father and the direct mother is the one carrying the baby. While in polyandry (1 woman, more husbands), one can tell who the mother is, but it’s not easy to tell who the father may be. In times of problems, responsibilities and disputes, this can be a big issue.


THE LAW OF NATURE
God created all creatures, even though (in the eyes of man) not equally, but fairly. The plant does not complain against the donkey, neither the donkey against man. For when more is given more will be required, and each has its own purpose. The same with man and woman. And God has definite laws and principles to govern his creation. For example, nature is governed by the law of 1 head over 1 body of different members, and never 1 body with many heads. The same works for marriage, where God has designated man to be the 1 head over each house and as for women and children, He designated them to be the other members of the body, which explains why the world has a higher proportion of women. It would be unnatural for any creature to have more than 1 head. Any such birth, in almost all known cases never survives for long. We have to take heed to the message God speaks through nature too.


THE LAW OF GOD FOR MANKIND
Yet one more, which is above all. God, in His Law and commandments accepts polygyny (more wives) and not polyandry (more husbands). There can be many other reasons that we do not know, but we can sure that God who is just and wise never did permit polyandry (more husbands) and never will. Marriage is paralleled by Christ and the Church, which is, 1 bridegroom and many brides. A godly lady said, "I cannot imagine myself serving and obeying more than 1 husband at the same time" Well, it’s simply the Law of the One who is just and all wise, whose way is many a time not comprehended by men, no, not until in eternity to come.


WOMAN CAN BE POLYGAMOUS TOO!
God is not unfair, for woman can be polygamous too. It took me a while to rationalize this. The real contention behind this particular polygamy issue is that it is not fair that man can be polygamous and woman cannot. If this is so, then I have good news here that a woman can also be just as polygamyous, but through the man, which is what it should be. Generally, the depth of truth regarding polygamy is still far from being properly understood. The first wife always thinks that polygamy is the other exclusive private affair of the man, thinking that her part is just to accept her fate, keep away from the other relationship and be at mercy of an uncertain future, as if she has everything to lose and nothing to gain. No wonder polygamy is never viewed as a fair deal. But thankfully this is not true. The woman can enjoy the benefits and blessings of polygamy through the man, which should be the case, where she is to be highly honored and respected as a magnanimous Sarah and enjoy the company and contribution of the newcomer. But this, she can only enjoy and gain when she is truly willing to give and share. Nature tells us that this is true. The polygamous lionesses, upon accepting one another, spend much time hunting together and grooming one another. In fact the time they spend together is more than that which each spends with the lion. Many modern women are deficient emotionally and mentally when they are deprived of the communal sisterly relationships with other ladies after they are married. Because of this, they secretly feel empty, lonely and weak within. A sister wife is meant not to be a rival but a good friend, yet more than a good friend and a sister but one who has become one flesh together through the man.