POLYGAMY - (5) POLYGAMY HAS BAD EFFECTS

POLYGAMY - OBJECTIONS, Q & A (5)

POLYGAMY HAS BAD EFFECTS

Polygamy is always associated with problems and bad effects like jealousy, strife, murder and disparities. So even though it may be acceptable before God, it is after all a bad idea and should not be practiced.

This is a poor argument. It actually justifies self and covers sins. Let me explain.

Bible says, "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" 1 John 4:20

But I say to you, "If a man say, I love my neighbor, and hates his half brother, he is a liar; for if he loves not his half brother (born of same father but of a different mother) who is of his own flesh and whom he sees, how can he love his neighbor who is not of his own flesh or is not even known to him?"
And I say to you, "How can a woman say she loves her neighbor who is not of her own flesh or is not even known to her if she, on her own accord, hates her sister-wife who has become her own flesh?"
Israel CS Lim

It is very wrong of erroneous preachers and ignorant followers to blame polygamy for human failures to love and to share with one's own half brothers or sister-wives. For the human self of jealousy, strife, murder and disparities if not made manifested in polygamy but covered under the blanket of should-be monogamy would otherwise be subtly manifested in different evil forms in all other relationships, like with in-laws, peers and competitors. On the other hand, when one is properly taught to love his half brothers, he should be able to correctly love his neighbor and manage other relationships well. Also, if a woman is truly able to share her man with a sister-wife, she would be able to confidently share almost anything in her life with others. We may say that polygamy is not for the unrighteous who abuses it, but instead for the righteous who harnesses it. Where there is no opportunity for sin to manifest, there seems no sin, but sin is in human self, always waiting to rear its ugly head anywhere, anytime, and ever ready to blame anything else except the real culprit called "self". So preachers, be careful what you preach!

Polygamy has been abused through the ages, so has monogamy in this present age. Each has its own set of inherent blessings and problems. Since there are also problems in monogamous marriages, does this mean that monogamous marriage also has bad effects? No. It's not marriage. It's the human self that is at fault. Can problems in monogamy be a reason for it to be discarded and replaced with homosexuality? God forbids. In fact, the failures and hypocrisy of today’s understanding of the marriage institution (which is none other than the holy calf of the should-be monogamy) is responsible for the rapid rise of many inordinate relationships of unscriptural forms. For example, polyamory is any other marital form as long as it is not monogamy. It is a result of the desperate rebellion against the shackles of hypocritical should-be monogamy.

Escaping from problems and their seeming ill effects is just not God’s way of solving problems. We cannot discard polygamy and brand it as sinful or unacceptable just because there seems more inherent problems. We must not discount the many inherent blessings. It’s the same with all other good things in life. Certain things can be a blessing to one, but a curse to another or it can be an obstacle in one instance but a great help in another. On the road, people get into accidents and die. Fire can be devastating, guns and knives can be used for murder, but we still have them all because of their other advantages. The truth is, we have to manage them. Big businesses and multi-corporations have much more inherent problems, strife and competition than the simple small ones, or is it so? But considering the huge returns, they are still growing and multiplying.

It’s the greedy and irresponsible man that kills himself and destroys other people. It’s the heart of man and not marriage forms (as long as it is biblically acceptable) that matters, and one must know what is suitable for one's own situation. He must seek God regarding his own life. He may have his own preferences or reasons, but he cannot condemn others who are different, nor put them in a bad light unless it is proven that God is against it. Whether it be polygamy, monogamy or celibacy, each has its own inherent set of blessings for us to inherit, and each has its own set of obstacles in life for us to overcome and be found worthy in God's sight. It’s the evil heart of man that abuses them all. The cause of evil is in the heart of man, not in polygamy that is as acceptable as monogamy before God.